jonah

sometimes being a girl is so annoying.

we can experience every emotion under the sun at the same time! how is that even possible?

the other week was one of those weeks where the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. it was verging on ridiculousness actually, and being able to step back now to rationally view the problem, my issues weren't really that big a deal.

oh well. (ach jo)

one of my issues was a bitter, angry heart. i was just straight up angry and couldn't get over it. didn't want to talk to God about it either. i even googled, "how to pray with a bitter heart" (by the way - it wasn't helpful).

so once i was over it, i decided i should probably try to figure out how to pray when i'm angry, because i can't just let my emotions pick and choose when i can talk to God.

i came across the book of jonah one evening on my train ride home. the man has some serious anger, which i can totally relate to. he's almost like a girl.

God tells him to go to ninevah, so what does he do? he goes to Tarshish. you find out later he flees to tarshish because he was afraid God would be merciful to ninevah.

so, on the way to tarshish, God sends a big storm, and everyone on the boat almost dies. what's jonah doing? sleeping.

after casting lots, they fund out that jonah's the reason for the storm - because he ran from God. jonah knows the best thing they can do is throw him overboard, and so eventually they do. the storm stops, and jonah's swallowed up by a big fish.

what's cool is that God still pursued jonah in his disobedience.

for 3 days, jonah stays inside of the fish, and while he's there, he prays this beautiful prayer. seriously, it's awesome. it's like a david prayer, and he ends with praising the God of salvation.

then the fish throws him up on land, and he goes on with obeying God's command to go to ninevah.

at this point i sound very much like jonah - run from God, pursued by God, pray some beautiful prayers, and then obey God.

so jonah walks around ninevah, telling the city that in 40 days they'll be doomed.

but the people repent, and so God decides to save them. this is where we get to the good part:

JONAH DOESN'T LIKE IT.

he doesn't like that God is going to save the city (keep in mind, in my anger, i don't want God to show grace to others), and he doesn't like it so much that he sits outside of the city and sulks about it. he even tells God it would be better if he just died (drama queen!)

then, because it's so hot, God grows a plant for him overnight to provide him with shade. this makes jonah happy. but the next night, God has a worm come that eats up the plant, and then God sends a wind which makes jonah even more hot.

and again, he's not happy. so unhappy - so ANGRY - that again, he wants to just die.

and God lets him know that that's enough. God gave him that plant, and He took it away. it's not up to jonah.

so i don't know erally what this teaches us, but hey - God loves angry, disobedient Jonah. he made us girls with tons of annoying emotions, and we're perfect and sinless to him. that's amazing.