could be my slogan for my life.
the last two years i worked with mentally retarded students. it wasn't what i wanted to be doing (though i loved it all the same!)
now, i'm in czech, and my teaching jobs (and other life things) take up a lot of time. it's not exactly what i want to be doing. i enjoy it all the same, but when i sit back and analyze it, i want to be doing other things instead. never totally satisfied.
there are things about living here that are tough and that can be draining. traveling takes up so much time. people can be pretty rude; this morning as i was coming back from my walk, a lady literally turned her head to stare at me as i walked by (i'm not sure why? maybe it's the red hair...sometimes i smile at people and they glare at me in return). i can only laugh off people's annoying attributes so many times before it starts to irk me.
BUT LET IT BE KNOWN, as many annoying things as there are about being here, my love for the people is greater than the rest.
but, the reality of it all is that it's not so bad. i've been reading this blog lately, and she has a post from may 15th that i'd encourage you to read. she doesn't want to be working, but she HAS to. that is her ministry.
God, would you let me view my work as ministry for you, and let me be satisfied in you.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
girls' weekend
this past weekend we went on a mini-retreat with the mladez girls. the theme was "beautiful princess or ogre?" and was based off of shrek. so we spent some time hanging out, praying, sharing, looking at pictures, cooking, and eating. the weather was gorgeous, and tessa (and some other girls who grabbed her camera at times) got some great pictures...
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| playing a game |
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| playing a game that was translated for us the whole time! so not really playing :) |
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| we stayed right beside this church |
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| a rousing game of freeze tag |
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| lunch! obed! |
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| lots of fun singing and dancing |
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| beautiful Barca |
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| i had fun curling everyone's hair! |
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| all the girls together on sunday morning! |
Monday, October 15, 2012
jonah
sometimes being a girl is so annoying.
we can experience every emotion under the sun at the same time! how is that even possible?
the other week was one of those weeks where the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. it was verging on ridiculousness actually, and being able to step back now to rationally view the problem, my issues weren't really that big a deal.
oh well. (ach jo)
one of my issues was a bitter, angry heart. i was just straight up angry and couldn't get over it. didn't want to talk to God about it either. i even googled, "how to pray with a bitter heart" (by the way - it wasn't helpful).
so once i was over it, i decided i should probably try to figure out how to pray when i'm angry, because i can't just let my emotions pick and choose when i can talk to God.
i came across the book of jonah one evening on my train ride home. the man has some serious anger, which i can totally relate to. he's almost like a girl.
God tells him to go to ninevah, so what does he do? he goes to Tarshish. you find out later he flees to tarshish because he was afraid God would be merciful to ninevah.
so, on the way to tarshish, God sends a big storm, and everyone on the boat almost dies. what's jonah doing? sleeping.
after casting lots, they fund out that jonah's the reason for the storm - because he ran from God. jonah knows the best thing they can do is throw him overboard, and so eventually they do. the storm stops, and jonah's swallowed up by a big fish.
what's cool is that God still pursued jonah in his disobedience.
for 3 days, jonah stays inside of the fish, and while he's there, he prays this beautiful prayer. seriously, it's awesome. it's like a david prayer, and he ends with praising the God of salvation.
then the fish throws him up on land, and he goes on with obeying God's command to go to ninevah.
at this point i sound very much like jonah - run from God, pursued by God, pray some beautiful prayers, and then obey God.
so jonah walks around ninevah, telling the city that in 40 days they'll be doomed.
but the people repent, and so God decides to save them. this is where we get to the good part:
JONAH DOESN'T LIKE IT.
he doesn't like that God is going to save the city (keep in mind, in my anger, i don't want God to show grace to others), and he doesn't like it so much that he sits outside of the city and sulks about it. he even tells God it would be better if he just died (drama queen!)
then, because it's so hot, God grows a plant for him overnight to provide him with shade. this makes jonah happy. but the next night, God has a worm come that eats up the plant, and then God sends a wind which makes jonah even more hot.
and again, he's not happy. so unhappy - so ANGRY - that again, he wants to just die.
and God lets him know that that's enough. God gave him that plant, and He took it away. it's not up to jonah.
so i don't know erally what this teaches us, but hey - God loves angry, disobedient Jonah. he made us girls with tons of annoying emotions, and we're perfect and sinless to him. that's amazing.
we can experience every emotion under the sun at the same time! how is that even possible?
the other week was one of those weeks where the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. it was verging on ridiculousness actually, and being able to step back now to rationally view the problem, my issues weren't really that big a deal.
oh well. (ach jo)
one of my issues was a bitter, angry heart. i was just straight up angry and couldn't get over it. didn't want to talk to God about it either. i even googled, "how to pray with a bitter heart" (by the way - it wasn't helpful).
so once i was over it, i decided i should probably try to figure out how to pray when i'm angry, because i can't just let my emotions pick and choose when i can talk to God.
i came across the book of jonah one evening on my train ride home. the man has some serious anger, which i can totally relate to. he's almost like a girl.
God tells him to go to ninevah, so what does he do? he goes to Tarshish. you find out later he flees to tarshish because he was afraid God would be merciful to ninevah.
so, on the way to tarshish, God sends a big storm, and everyone on the boat almost dies. what's jonah doing? sleeping.
after casting lots, they fund out that jonah's the reason for the storm - because he ran from God. jonah knows the best thing they can do is throw him overboard, and so eventually they do. the storm stops, and jonah's swallowed up by a big fish.
what's cool is that God still pursued jonah in his disobedience.
for 3 days, jonah stays inside of the fish, and while he's there, he prays this beautiful prayer. seriously, it's awesome. it's like a david prayer, and he ends with praising the God of salvation.
then the fish throws him up on land, and he goes on with obeying God's command to go to ninevah.
at this point i sound very much like jonah - run from God, pursued by God, pray some beautiful prayers, and then obey God.
so jonah walks around ninevah, telling the city that in 40 days they'll be doomed.
but the people repent, and so God decides to save them. this is where we get to the good part:
JONAH DOESN'T LIKE IT.
he doesn't like that God is going to save the city (keep in mind, in my anger, i don't want God to show grace to others), and he doesn't like it so much that he sits outside of the city and sulks about it. he even tells God it would be better if he just died (drama queen!)
then, because it's so hot, God grows a plant for him overnight to provide him with shade. this makes jonah happy. but the next night, God has a worm come that eats up the plant, and then God sends a wind which makes jonah even more hot.
and again, he's not happy. so unhappy - so ANGRY - that again, he wants to just die.
and God lets him know that that's enough. God gave him that plant, and He took it away. it's not up to jonah.
so i don't know erally what this teaches us, but hey - God loves angry, disobedient Jonah. he made us girls with tons of annoying emotions, and we're perfect and sinless to him. that's amazing.
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