Loving the unlovable: why God is God and I am not

Last week was one of the most difficult I've had. I struggled with discouragement, disagreement, disrespect, and in all likelihood, some kind of spiritual oppression. I didn't want to be there from the beginning, and I wasn't prepared in any way to serve.

It was a week with orphan kids. Some of their stories and faces broke my heart: I may end up coming home with 5 kids :) As young as some of them are (even the 7 year-olds), some of them are already speaking some of the most vulgar language and showing the most utter disrespect that you can imagine. They have made themselves unlovable, mocking you to your face, spewing out curses and hatred. (Though that's definitely not true of all of them! Some of them were very easy to love)

When I've heard the phrase, "loving the unlovable," I always imagined those of the lower caste systems who were looked down upon, or those sick with some terrible disease. I didn't picture the face of a teenager who kept pushing away, never allowing love in.

And my response was not godly. I answered their anger with mine. I ignored them, too frustrated to try. And yet at any sign of vulnerability or happiness, I was consumed with joy. They're finally letting us in! 

But I am those children; I am unlovable. I curse in God's face, I ignore him, I don't appreciate all that He's done for me. Thankfully, He doesn't respond the way I did. He keeps pursuing, He keeps loving. And I'm sure that when I show those signs of vulnerability, He is filled with joy.

Pray with me for my heart, for their hearts, to be purged of "unlovableness" and filled with Perfect Love.

Life in Czech

At our training in May, we learned a lot of things. One is that at most, we'll function at 60% while living overseas. I feel like 60% would be nice to get to right now. I've been losing things which is uncharacteristically Andrea, and all the emotions of being here is overwhelming and chaotic.

My friend from the training, Mary Beth, described the paradox of living overseas on her blog, which you can read here. Life is a series of "yay ducks" and "yuck ducks" which make a "pair o' ducks" - or a paradox. A few days full of tears, and a few days full of life. Through it all, Psalm 139 has been the theme.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

I've been asking God to confirm my calling here, because it's so hard to see it when everything about living here seems so hard. And He has confirmed it, through giving me new students to meet with and allowing me to see how He's moving in Czech.

So, not to leave on a "yuck duck" note, here are some yay ducks I've had since I've been here!

Vera is a Czech who lives in Canada. She has been praying for me and
supporting me for the last three years. Our paths finally crossed,
and I brought her to my girl's group to share her story

After English Camp, we have follow up activities. I
 got to see more of the students!

Petrunda and I took a mini road trip to pick up the hospitalized
Americans and take them to Prague!

Then we got to hang out with the Americans in Prague, which is exactly what I needed,

My friends Petr & Petra let my roommate, Eliska, and I come stay at their home for a night.
It was the most relaxing, enjoyable time I could have had right
when I needed it. Plus I got to enjoy my favorite ice cream!

English Camp

Move over, birthday! Because my favorite time of the year is English camp!

This year was a perfect mix of everything awesome and everything terrible. We had a lot of new students, probably more than ever before. But the camp as a whole felt like a family, and even after camp we've been spending a lot of time together. We really, honestly (mostly) enjoy being together!

The only negative to the camp was how many injuries and hospital visits we had. One American has to have surgery because she had stomach ulcers, and another American guy was hospitalized because of a concussion. On top of that, we had about 15 bee stings (thankfully no major allergies), another concussion, a broken pinky, and lots of fainting. There were hospital visits every day, and an emergency phone call in the middle of the night. I was never so glad to leave camp because of all the medical stuff!

I got to organize a Survivor/Amazing Race activity that was totally my cup of tea. The point of this activity was to bring classes together quicker: each English class meets together in the evening to discuss the spiritual talk we just heard. It usually takes about 3 days before students will go deeper and feel more open, so we wanted to speed up the process. I think we accomplished it through a variety of silly, fun, and sometimes frustrating activities.

I brought a bunch of Salvation Army dresses from the States, and each class had to wear the dress one-by-one and go find a puzzle piece. Here's a little clip of what that looked like:

Then each team had to take their puzzle pieces and go put a puzzle together. When they were done, they had 10 different stations to complete however they wanted. Such as...

the whole class tying their legs together, walking down to the woods, and finding 6 natural things of different colors.

knocking over cans with a ball (which took way longer than we expected)

a food challenge! Bleu cheese, strawberry chocolate, onions, tuna, liver pate, milk, ketchup, mustard, and barbecue sauce blended together

The Americans on each team also had to learn the words to a Czech children's song, which had to be approved by a Czech judge. The last challenge, and my favorite, was that each team had to build a fire, put on the dresses, and dance around it singing the children's song.

a video of that here: 

And a few more pictures of some fun!

Hike Day Geocachers

Enjoying kofola at some old ruins in Czech with Terka

cooking workshop: chocolate covered peanut butter eggs

Photo booth