over the years i've had uncertainties about my home church, lcbc (lives changed by Christ). but since i've returned in the past couple months, i've found the sermons and community to be challenging in the way that they should be. we recently finished a series called "flipside," and our human view of certain elements as opposed to God's view. i suggest you download the podcasts. one sermon was on the parable of the prodigal son, and it focused on the older brother and his selfishness and inability to forgive. another was about forgiveness, and how God flips our views of those who we don't love: He tells us to love our enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who have hurt you. Jesus the radical. if only i could love like that.
the last sermon in the series focused on yes/no, and the calls for different disciples in Luke 9 who all put conditions on what they would do for God. here's a snippet out of my journal on what i've been thinking about and about my conditional love for God:
LCBC's last sermon was called Flipside. God's pulled some flipsides on me. I'd been doing fine, but right now I just feel like a loser. I have my master's degree, and I can't get a job. So there's one flip: everyone says it's better to have a higher education, but right now people who didn't go to college aren't living in Manheim with their parents, unemployed. I am; I who have the high and mighty master's degree all before the age of 23. what garbage.
But moving away from the bitterness...When I was twelve and flying over the ocean to make a new home with my family, I told myself I would never go into missions and put my family through that hurt. Here's another flip: over the years God has changed my heart's desire so that my only vision of the future is doing his work in some other culture.
I came to terms with that and said alright to God. "I am ok with going where you want me, but I don't feel called to Africa, and I definitely have no desire to ever go to Russia. But I'd go to Czech because I love those people!" And that was good, right? I was willing to go to Czech. But no - God doesn't want me saying where I will and will not go. Didn't Jonah say no to going to Ninevah?
Growing up, some families from our church would go to the only Christian music festival and conference in England. In the kids' group, we sang a song about Jonah, and to this day those lyrics resound with me: "When God says go, you don't say no." Subsequently, I think the words can be inverted to say "when God says no, you don't go."
Last September I was visiting a friend in Czech. He prayed that if I was being called to Czech that I would just feel it in all of me, even in my bones. I don't. But thanks to Rich Stearns (president of World Vision), my heart has been broken for the poor in Africa, and suddenly I'm not so opposed to going there. "Flipside," God says! "You will have a passion for all of my people, not just the ones you want. I made YOU, and MY son died for you. You don't have the right to choose who to love."
And as if that wasn't enough, my "plan" all along has been to pay off loans and THEN go into missions. Of course my plan since moving home has changed every other week: volunteer with city year, teach abroad, teach in another state, stay home for free and teach, stay home for free and get a job with benefits. All of them my plans, and none involving taking the risk of swallowing my pride and asking people to support me in paying off my loans so I can go into missions.
Jesus tells several men in Luke 9 that they cannot follow him and be his disciples if they are putting conditions on what they will do for him. See, I view it as a decent if not good thing to tell God that as soon as my loans are paid off I'm his and I will literally go anywhere to spread his good news. But God flips it and tells me that I am not his true servant if I am making such conditions and excuses.
Andrea, when God says go, don't respond by saying no-that it will hurt my family to leave their friends and home. Don't respond by saying I'll go to Czech, but not Africa. Don't even respond by saying I'll go ANYWHERE as soon as my loans are paid off. Say yes Lord and Master. I will go where you want me, even if that means Manheim (though I pray it doesn't).
