work has been dragging even more for me lately. i don't know what it is... mrs. m said it's "moving-away-itis." honestly i think i consider myself "too good" for my job sometimes. though lately it has just been real frustration with my student.
i get in these moods where i'm so ticked off with him it's hard to move away from it, and especially hard to pray through it. i'm annoyed/frustrated/upset, and i just want to stay that way. i don't even want to be happy or focus on God's grace to me, i want to focus on my negative emotion. the only thing i can do in that moment is ask others to pray for me because i can't/won't do it myself, and pray for myself after those times.
i also realized how beautiful it is when we share our crap with each other. i compare myself to others always, and it makes it that much easier when i realize how we all sin and are all covered by grace. not saying that my sins/junk are ok, but it's also good to share it with others and help build up one another. it's not easy to admit my faults.
but...there is enough grace in Christ to cover you when you forget about grace. there is enough grace in Christ to cover you when you remember about grace and don't care.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
update!
lots of excitement brewing recently (starts out boring, but i promise it gets better!)...
!! at work i've spent lots of time on my student's ipad working on making categories of different things so he can speak it...i'd love to see him order his own food at his favorite restaurants and then count out the amount of money he needs afterwards (and he'll get there)!
today's ipad highlight: uploading a picture of a worm under the "insects" category. why wouldn't they have "worm" when they have buttons for sarah palin and tom cruise?
!! currents:
book___a praying life/the forgotten God/because he loves me/jeremiah (the message)
song___soon by hillsong
!! plane tickets have been obtained! we're leaving the evening of july 30th, then a long-enough-layover in germany (frankfurt i think - can't believe i forgot already) that we hope to spend a little time roaming, and arrive in prague on the 31st. then we'd like to do the last term of english camps, but we shall see.
!! OUR VISA APPLICATIONS ARE IN THE MAIL! this is a huge step for us. we've been going back and forth with Harrel (our employer) and Dasa (our czech liaison) for several months with questions, more questions, signatures, scanned copies, translations, and more questions. finally we think we have everything figured out. this is a huge burden that has been lifted...it caused much stress!
highlights from the visa process: oh wait, there are none.
!! financial support: together, tessa and i are at about 65%, but that's just money that's been given, not pledged. if you do plan to give (one time or monthly) but haven't been able to yet, please let us know so we can calculate this all in.
!! PRAYER!!
visas___so, our visas are in the mail. that's a big deal, but - there's a 3-4 month processing period. our plane tickets are acquired to have us leaving in 3 1/2 months. we're praying that they only take 3, but PRAY with us! there will also probably be some go-between with us and the embassy if we don't have everything done correctly. pray that all goes smoothly.
my car___my car has been my thorn in my side for several years. if i wasn't moving in july i would've traded it in last september. recently there have been some more problems that have been fixed (after tears on my part). i'm thankful for God's blessing of my parent's support for me through this. pray that it doesn't leave me sit again!
finances___such a huge hurdle of trust for me. sometimes it's so easy for me to trust God to provide our finances, and other times it's really easy for me to forget his faithfulness and start worrying. i'm so thankful for all of you who have given and who support me in your prayers. pray that God would grant me faith the size of a mustard seed.
finishing well___the school year is coming to a close and i have senioritis, or whatever the teacher's version of it is. change is on the horizon, and i want it to be here now. have i no patience? i'm also trying to spend time with as many people as i can before i leave, and it's sobering that i'm already saying goodbyes to some friends and family.
the triune God___i'm praying for us, the body of believers, to be encouraging and uplifting to one another. i'm thankful for seeing lives made new and the expectational hope of eternity with Christ. i couldn't live without that hope.
!! at work i've spent lots of time on my student's ipad working on making categories of different things so he can speak it...i'd love to see him order his own food at his favorite restaurants and then count out the amount of money he needs afterwards (and he'll get there)!
today's ipad highlight: uploading a picture of a worm under the "insects" category. why wouldn't they have "worm" when they have buttons for sarah palin and tom cruise?
!! currents:
book___a praying life/the forgotten God/because he loves me/jeremiah (the message)
song___soon by hillsong
!! plane tickets have been obtained! we're leaving the evening of july 30th, then a long-enough-layover in germany (frankfurt i think - can't believe i forgot already) that we hope to spend a little time roaming, and arrive in prague on the 31st. then we'd like to do the last term of english camps, but we shall see.
 |
| Czech visa application |
!! OUR VISA APPLICATIONS ARE IN THE MAIL! this is a huge step for us. we've been going back and forth with Harrel (our employer) and Dasa (our czech liaison) for several months with questions, more questions, signatures, scanned copies, translations, and more questions. finally we think we have everything figured out. this is a huge burden that has been lifted...it caused much stress!
highlights from the visa process: oh wait, there are none.
!! financial support: together, tessa and i are at about 65%, but that's just money that's been given, not pledged. if you do plan to give (one time or monthly) but haven't been able to yet, please let us know so we can calculate this all in.
!! PRAYER!!
visas___so, our visas are in the mail. that's a big deal, but - there's a 3-4 month processing period. our plane tickets are acquired to have us leaving in 3 1/2 months. we're praying that they only take 3, but PRAY with us! there will also probably be some go-between with us and the embassy if we don't have everything done correctly. pray that all goes smoothly.
my car___my car has been my thorn in my side for several years. if i wasn't moving in july i would've traded it in last september. recently there have been some more problems that have been fixed (after tears on my part). i'm thankful for God's blessing of my parent's support for me through this. pray that it doesn't leave me sit again!
finances___such a huge hurdle of trust for me. sometimes it's so easy for me to trust God to provide our finances, and other times it's really easy for me to forget his faithfulness and start worrying. i'm so thankful for all of you who have given and who support me in your prayers. pray that God would grant me faith the size of a mustard seed.
finishing well___the school year is coming to a close and i have senioritis, or whatever the teacher's version of it is. change is on the horizon, and i want it to be here now. have i no patience? i'm also trying to spend time with as many people as i can before i leave, and it's sobering that i'm already saying goodbyes to some friends and family.
the triune God___i'm praying for us, the body of believers, to be encouraging and uplifting to one another. i'm thankful for seeing lives made new and the expectational hope of eternity with Christ. i couldn't live without that hope.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
my twelfth birthday is one that i remember. i'm pretty sure i could even tell you what outfit i was wearing. my hair was in a pony tail, as it was always was at that point. i guess pulling it away from my face did make it look less messy, though from the front my frizzy bangs just made me look like a boy with a bowl cut.
it was a sunday. i don't know what we had to eat, but i'd assume that mom made me a chocolate cake with peanut butter icing, as was the tradition.
what sticks out about this birthday wasn't at all a special celebration - i don't think i'd had one of them since about the age of 6. what did stick out was my complete selfishness and hastiness to verbalize it.
we had a visitor. i remember what he looks like, and i think i can recall his name. we'll call him Joe. maybe he stayed overnight, or maybe he just came Sunday morning, but he came to church with us. at church after the service, my dad told me that Joe was gonna come home and spend the evening with us.
my response? WHINING. things like, "it's my birthday, why is he coming?" and, "I don't want him to!"
i don't think Joe heard me - i hope he didn't hear me - but it wouldn't have taken much to tell that i was annoyed.
whining never got me my way, and of course Joe still came over. but on the way he stopped at a store and picked me up a movie - "Lion King 1 1/2."
and then i was ok with it. how immature of me.
thirteen years later and i hope i wouldn't do that this year. of course i've matured. but reading back to my time of interning 4 years ago i was almost shocked at my me-mentality! don't get me wrong, i'm still selfish, but i got annoyed at my words - how all that seemed to matter was my feelings and emotions, not about what God was doing in my life.
what i realize now is that no matter where i am emotionally, whether i feel his presence or feel he's abandoned me; whether i'm happy or sad; annoyed or excited; needy or stable - He is still God. i may not always experience those emotional highs that missions trips can grant, but even after a moment of passion is lost, God still showers me with his grace.
what i realize now is that i may experience a low a lot of the time, but instead of getting all "woe is me" about it and spreading it around my blog or facebook, it's more important that Christ points himself to me and reminds me of how he's changed and saved me and is still actively presenting his truths to me.
thank you, God, for rescuing this sinner and opening my eyes to your grace in my life.
it was a sunday. i don't know what we had to eat, but i'd assume that mom made me a chocolate cake with peanut butter icing, as was the tradition.
what sticks out about this birthday wasn't at all a special celebration - i don't think i'd had one of them since about the age of 6. what did stick out was my complete selfishness and hastiness to verbalize it.
we had a visitor. i remember what he looks like, and i think i can recall his name. we'll call him Joe. maybe he stayed overnight, or maybe he just came Sunday morning, but he came to church with us. at church after the service, my dad told me that Joe was gonna come home and spend the evening with us.
my response? WHINING. things like, "it's my birthday, why is he coming?" and, "I don't want him to!"
i don't think Joe heard me - i hope he didn't hear me - but it wouldn't have taken much to tell that i was annoyed.
whining never got me my way, and of course Joe still came over. but on the way he stopped at a store and picked me up a movie - "Lion King 1 1/2."
and then i was ok with it. how immature of me.
thirteen years later and i hope i wouldn't do that this year. of course i've matured. but reading back to my time of interning 4 years ago i was almost shocked at my me-mentality! don't get me wrong, i'm still selfish, but i got annoyed at my words - how all that seemed to matter was my feelings and emotions, not about what God was doing in my life.
what i realize now is that no matter where i am emotionally, whether i feel his presence or feel he's abandoned me; whether i'm happy or sad; annoyed or excited; needy or stable - He is still God. i may not always experience those emotional highs that missions trips can grant, but even after a moment of passion is lost, God still showers me with his grace.
what i realize now is that i may experience a low a lot of the time, but instead of getting all "woe is me" about it and spreading it around my blog or facebook, it's more important that Christ points himself to me and reminds me of how he's changed and saved me and is still actively presenting his truths to me.
thank you, God, for rescuing this sinner and opening my eyes to your grace in my life.
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