what i am looking forward to

since i posted about what i'm not looking forward to about czech, i think it's just as necessary to express what i AM looking forward to, though i'm not sure just one post would do it justice.

first of all, and this really goes without saying, i am beyond excited to be with my friends. some of these people i've known for 8 years! others i met this past summer. here are some faces:

2004 - first English camp: friends from Pardubice

Girls from Bohumin in 2008

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i also can't wait to have a good public transportation system. it's not necessary for us to have a car, because trains, buses, trams, and subways can get us anywhere! one of my favorite things to do is to stick my head out of a train window. not quite like these guys to my right, but i love that feeling of being in czech and having the freedom of looking out at the fields while the wind knocks the air out of me.

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most certainly the food. czech breakfast is one of my favorites - it's usually meat and cheese on a rolik (fresh roll) with fruit and veggies. and tea or coffee. yum. i also love the Czech national food: svickova (sveech-koe-va) - dumplings with beef tips and a special sauce, topped with cream and cranberry sauce. another favorite is mednovik, a Czech honey cake. tessa and i tried making it once, and it wasn't nearly as heavenly as it should have been.

Svickova

Medovnik

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then of course, there are things that i can't post a picture for. i've always wanted to go into ministry, and i'll be able to minister while teaching - something else i love. i love that this trip is so purposeful, and my whole intention in being there is to gain and build friendships and be Christ to people.

i'm excited to be "starting over" - to not be held back by traditions, and in general to have more time. not being held back by obligations. can't wait.

trust in a meager form.

this whole week i haven't been setting my alarm clock. i've been attempting to trust God to wake me up when i need to wake up. it's been really hard: on monday i woke up at 7 (my usual time), but my head and heavy eyes right away returned to the pillow. i woke up almost an hour later, but still made it to work on time. God had provided the opportunity to wake up at the right time and i didn't take it. the last couple nights i've been waking up every couple hours afraid that i overslept. and yet i haven't at all. if anything i've had more time to get ready and spent with God in the mornings.

last night i was listening to this amazing sermon/seminar about how Elijah was being hunted by Jezebel. in the meantime i was wrestling with myself, wondering if i could trust God to wake me up in the morning...these stories aren't quite parallel. imagine God providing for Elijah while he's being chased by a wicked murderer, and i can't believe that he'll wake me up in time.

this has been my small lesson in trust. my head is spinning (maybe from my coffee SEVEN hours ago? seriously, in college i could drink caffeine at any time of the day and still fall asleep within an hour) and it's past midnight. i'm wrestling with myself wondering if God will wake me up if i don't get as much sleep as usual. but that's not really what i'm thinking...the truth is i'm not trusting God at all and i'm afraid i could oversleep tomorrow.



there was a recent incident where i began second-guessing if i'm good at my job, and whether certain individuals had no or little respect for me. thankfully, the aforementioned sermon and the wonderful book "Because He Loves Me" (which have both been prevelant in my life recently) preach the gospel and who our identity is found in. what a blessing that my identity isn't found in what others think or how well i perform or i feel terrible about myself. Jesus took that stuff. my identity is found in the one who took that from me so that i could be his.

but so much easier said than applied. this situation is what's currently swirling around in my head, and has been every spare second i've had today. i don't know what i'd do without the hope of Christ.

what i'm [not] looking forward to

not to get all negative nancy, especially after tessa wrote this. 

for years the dream has been to move to czech. now it's happening. it's all very exciting...i really am looking forward to so much (that can be its own entry).

but realistically, the visions of happiness and growth and change i have while we're there won't happen.

i know that at some point i will most likely become really frustrated with the language especially.

i'm not looking forward to not being with an organization that will grant us accountability in the country.

leaving my family (especially Grace) and friends will be doubly difficult.

raising support has always been a struggle. i'm praying about this one for sure, but this is a tough one to trust God with.

so friends, please pray for me and with me. believe me, i'm excited! but i know that my expectations can't be too high. thank you!