excited/burdened

i started a different entry the other day which i'll finish up later. but i wanted to share about some things i realized tonight.

my mom is an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher. Some of her students are members of a Ukrainian/Russian church here in Lancaster, and they were going to be singing and playing piano in a Christmas program tonight. so naturally, since i can't pass up anything european, i went with her.

oh i loved it. it reminded me of what i expect Czech to be like in nine months:

+talented, bilingual teenagers and children. i'm so jealous of them

+absolutely gorgeous women...cause of insecurity :)

+awesome Babickas (Czech word for Grandma) - these older ladies have lived through totalitarian governments, but some of them are really strong Christians. they all wear skirts and scarves and are the greatest cooks. go here to watch a video about one such Babicka: http://deidox.com/films/pastors/?f=LUDMILLAG

+i didn't understand hardly anything. especially because even words on the screen were in russian (totally different alphabet) which gives me even loss context than czech. but i'm at the point still where i love just listening and reading people. i'm sure that will fade after a while in czech once i get frustrated that i can't express myself, but for now i love it

+the people were so eager to serve us and talk to us. one guy came over and insisted that we have a translator and explained everything, and the father of one of my mom's students got us all coffee (though i didn't really want it)

sometimes i get so unbelievably excited that i'm going to czech. this week tessa and i got our prayer cards and started filling out the visa applications which made it all seem so much more real.

when we first decided to go we were so excited that i lost sight of WHY we were going. so i prayed that God would burden me for the czech people again, and then i saw a link to some statistics that an amazing mission's organization found in Czech. here's a summary:

+less than three percent of students in Pardubice are interested in learning more about Christ.

+78.7% of students in Pardubice claim no religious creed

+5.5% believe the church is credible.

+read the full report here: http://clarity-research.net/?page_id=174

these are rough statistics to work around. how do you make the other 95% believe that the church is credible, let alone attend church? how do we reach out to that 79% of students who don't see a need for religion?

let's be praying for these czech people.

who goes to the czech republic?

so before i go on, excuse my numerous amount of "ums" in the video. obviously i'm not a speaker :)

but moving forward, who goes to czech republic? ...a couple years ago a friend asked me what i love about czech so much. i couldn't really give a solid answer. i adore the czech people, enjoy the culture, and honestly the scenery doesn't hurt - whether it's city or countryside! let me show you what i mean.

so first of all, where the heck is czech?

it's pretty much smack dab in the center of europe. which is perfect for traveling (advertisement - we want you to come visit!). it's surrounded by Poland, Slovakia, Germany, and Austria. we will be living in Pardubice and living in Hradec Kralove (both pretty much exactly east of Prague).

we've worked with the church in Pardubice several times before, though my last three english camps have all been on the Moravian side of Czech (far east - close to the Polish and Slovak borders).











i think that every town and city in Czech has a town square - this is Pardubice's. they're all quaint and beautiful. most have a statue, some have towers, and there are shops and restaurants around the square. i just love town squares!

and here is the capital - Prague. the first picture is one that i took of the cathedral and astrological tower.







the one below is from Wenceslas Square (remember God King Wenceslas? he was czech :))

and finally: the Charles bridge and the castle

but the best part is the mountains. i've spent the most time in the Beskydy mountains on the eastern side of czech.













this is hotel malenovice, my favorite place in the world, tucked away in the beskydy mountains!









pictures just don't do this land justice!

czech! yay!

praise God, things are finally moving forward with this czech trip!

so here we go: on the side you'll see a video featuring Tessa and me! you can hear more about what we'll be doing in czech by watching the video. i'll post a little bit more throughout the week about a bit of czech history, where czech is (does anyone know?), how Czechs view Christians, and just go more in depth with where we'll be and what we'll be doing.

for now, if you're interested in giving either a one time gift or monthly, you can let me know or just send a check to the address on the sidebar.

and most important!! don't skip this!

PRAY FOR US!

this is all such a new challenge. as Tessa and i prepare to head over we'd love your support and encouragement and prayer. there's a lot to get done before we leave in nine months, and at times it's seemed a bit overwhelming and taxing. but we're getting there, and God continues to find ways to burden us for the Czech people and remind us why we're actually going. we love czech people and want to share God's saving love with them.

and again, excitement ensues! sometimes i can't believe i'm actually finally moving to czech!

i'd also encourage you to read this post and this post to see some pictures and read about my past experiences in czech!

joy, unspesakable joy

i recently read "the shack." take it for what you will, but for the first time it helped me understand that i was created to be in relarionship with God...that means actual relationship. and for the first time i realized that ALL my sins are actually forgiven. i won't be judged in heaven! WOW! that's almost a new concept. i don't live for righteousness so that i can get a "better" place in heaven - i live for righteousness out of love for the one that saved me.

just a thought or two

i guess we don't usually sing the last verse of "Come Thou Fount"...



O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

to be freed from sin...how beautiful

and mark 10:21, in the parable about the rich young ruler:

²¹And Jesus, looking at him, loved him...

Prayer

you better believe that as things heat up for Czech i'm gonna be asking for more and more prayer, and when i'm living there i'll probably be plaguing you with requests and praise. so as i'm thinking about it and feeling overwhelmed, here's what you can be praying for:

_getting things done...the downside of not being with an organization is that there's so much to get done. we're down to nine months, and we have yet to begin raising support. this has been a good week of getting things accomplished though!

_i'm transitioning into a new (evening) job of tutoring. i'm thankful for changes and new opportunities, but i'd still appreciate prayer as i learn a new job!

_sometimes i feel so burdened for people but don't do anything about it. so...not sure what i should be asking, but pray that i remember to turn to God when i'm feeling burdened.

Bless the Lord

listen:
10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman

and while listening, read Psalm 103:

 ¹ Bless the LORD, O my soul,
   and all that is within me,
   bless his holy name!
² Bless the LORD, O my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits,
³who forgives all your iniquity,
   who heals all your diseases,
⁴who redeems your life from the pit,
   who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵who satisfies you with good
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

 ⁶The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all who are oppressed.
⁷He made known his ways to Moses,
   his  acts to the people of Israel.
⁸The LORD is merciful and gracious,
   slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹ He will not always chide,
   nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰He does not deal with us according to our sins,
   nor repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹²as far as the east is from the west,
   so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
¹³As a father shows compassion to his children,
   so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
¹⁴For he knows our frame;
   he remembers that we are dust.

 ¹⁵As for man, his days are like grass;
   he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
   and its place knows it no more.
¹⁷But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
   and his righteousness to children’s children,
¹⁸to those who keep his covenant
   and remember to do his commandments.
¹⁹The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
   and his kingdom rules over all.

 ²⁰Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
   you mighty ones who do his word,
   obeying the voice of his word!
²¹Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
   his ministers, who do his will!
²² Bless the LORD, all his works,
   in all places of his dominion.
 Bless the LORD, O my soul!

we love because...

why is loving people so hard for me? it is so much easier to look at a person for their faults and mistakes than to view them as being loved and created by God.

i was at a concert this weekend, and at one point i felt God telling me that i don't have to understand his love, but i do have to accept it.

where did that come from?

so i've been thinking about it. definitely my biggest struggle with myself throughout my whole life is feeling like a crappy christian because i'm such a jerk to others sometimes. so many of my prayers and journal entries have been to love others better. and then i realized that i struggle with seeing God as loving. definitely i view him as powerful and mighty and GOOD, and i'm in awe/thankful of how He's mindful of me when he created the whole universe (Jer 31:35, Ps 8:3-4). but i haven't labeled those things as LOVING.

WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US (1 John 4:19)

i don't grasp his love for me. please pray with me that i would accept and see it.

(and sidenote: i struggle a lot with seeing living here on earth as worthless. at this concert they sang "because He lives." one line says "and life is worth the living just because He lives." He lives, He is with me now. life right now is part of my eternal life, and so it is not worthless.)

david crowder "surely we can change"

And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let us bring grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Let us be brave
Where there is misery
Let us bring them relief
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Oh surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change

seven years of czech

the pictures from the past seven years of czech experiences are scattered all over the place, but i'll try to find some to chronicle all of my experiences there!

my first time in czech was actually in 2003. i had been planning to do an English camp, and my family was going to drop me off there after our visit to England. the trip with the church was canceled, but my family still went to czech for about two days. but...no pictures from that!

2004 - the ugliest camp shirts ever. this was my first camp with pardubice when we were performing the camp song in church.

2005 - camp dance right before we left.

2006 - in keeping up with the theme, they're doing the camp dance right before we left.

2008 - internship. hanging out with keith, amanda, and helena at the castle in Pardubice

april 2009 - Stramberk castle with Tessa and Krupa

fall 2009 - the cottage with Bohumin and the students i taught at the Christian International School of Prague

2010 - everyone at English Camp

how God has blessed me

for seven years i've been wanting to say this...

i'm moving to czech!

this is a picture of my team from the first time i did an English camp in 2004. after that experience i was determined to move to czech.

and my desire to move there hasn't always been prevalent. i remember one such time specifically

at one point when i was student teaching in prague in 2009. i was loving living there, and i wanted to eventually move back. i went to visit a missionary friend and we visited a castle

(as you do in czech). we sat and prayed for a bit, and he prayed that if it was God's will for me to move there that i would just feel it in my bones. it made me kind of sad because i didn't feel such a strong desire and i wanted to. make no mistake: i felt a huge burden for czech and really did feel that God would have me back there at some point. but at that time i wanted to be there but didn't feel that God did.

this summer i returned for another English camp, and i knew when i returned that it was

time to start praying about going back there full time. my best friend, Tessa (on the right from the English camp we did together in 2006), and i kind of started praying one night that God would move us there together. and the next day, Tessa had an email waiting in her inbox asking if she and i would like to move to czech and run a school.

the ironic part is that we had been asked to do this before. and at that point, the timing was bad for Tessa, and i was so afraid of raising support that i didn't even really consider it.

but this is completely God. his timing, his plan. everything keeps coming together. this next year before we move isn't going to go as smoothly as these last two months have.

so please pray with us: that we'll be fixed on why God has called us to czech right now, and that we would feel burdened for the czechs we'll be encountering once we're there.

thank you God for granting me this desire in your perfect timing, seven years later.

the beach.

on saturday i went to the beach for the first (and last) time this summer. it was glorious.

i

was with this lovely girl, drew. as i pulled up to meet her she gave an excited little jump of glee (i fe

el the same when i see her!) and waited a couple minutes for another girl who we weren't sure was coming. during that time we stared down several cars, inspecting them to see if she w

as in it, scaring drivers.

so we left, stopped at wawa

for coffee (for me) and slim jims (for drew). stopped at wawa again for my bladder. finally made it to 8th street in ocean city and drove around forever. pa

rked on 13th, ran to the bathroom again. paid the young boy who was being paid to sit there $5 to be allowed on the beach (rip off!). set up our stuff, ate

food, put on sunscreen, and sat in the sun warming up. we cautiously went out to the water, unsure whether our belongings would be stolen (the

y weren't). we swam for about five minutes because the waves were serious and i kept m

ooning everyone. ate more food, made bracelets (mine was just a bunch of knots in a piece of string), ran to the bathroom again. ate more food, listened to music

(adele, simon & garfunkel, moody blues, tracy chapman - i had my parents' ipod), took naps, got burned (on the top of my foot, a sliver of my ankle, the back

s of my knees, botto

m of my butt, and my chest).

bought fudge, drove to 30th street near drew's beach house. got pulled over by a cop who was following me:

i had a brake light out. seriously? in manheim you get pulled over for going 20 over, not for a brake light. it's common occurrence here to race another vehicle to the closest parking spot, to not stop at stop signs (and even if you do you don't care if another person was there before you), to go 15 over everywhere, and to drive big ol' gas guzzlin' trucks. who gives a rip if your brake light is out?

ocean city policewoman cared. i like policemen; i even confessed that to drew earlier in the day. i don't like policewomen who pull me over for a brake light being out. then i of course didn't have an updated insurance card (i probably threw it out accidentally knowing me - and there's one on its way in the mail as i type). but she "cut me a big break" - i think she didn't want to deal with me and actually thought i had been under the influence of something - because drew didn't know where the beach house was, and i kept flicking my turning signal on and off because she was randomly pointing everywhere :)

after that we went back to the beach, took pictures,

i got my butt wet while taking pictures, ate more, and went on our waybecause we were planning to stop at chic fil a.

we left, typed "chic fil a" into the gps, paid an extra toll

to get there, and it wasn't there. there was a mall, so we thought it might be inside. i slipped sweat pants over my wet butt, though may it be noted i still had a wet butt, and we went inside. there was no chic fil a, just a cheap knock off called "chicken now". so we decided reluctantly to get food anyway in case we couldn't find one. we ate and ran (i had to push drew away from her favorite stores), i of course went to the bathroom again, and were on our

way.

a couple exits later we saw a sign for chic fil a. so we took the exit, finally found it, and had our chic fil a. it was wonderful. all we had wanted and more. but by then of course we didn't have time to stop at wawa because we had to get home.

and that was the beach.

august worship playlist (which will get added to!)

matt redman: never once

matt redman: you alone can rescue

natalie grant: your great name

chris tomlin: God of this city

hillsong: the stand

hillsong: hosanna

chris tomlin: our God

matt redman: my hope

tricia brock: you are my shepherd

jeremy riddle: furious

feeling God

at camp in czech there was one girl who i adored right off the bat. she's heard the gospel before and hangs out with a youth group who's been praying for her for a while. she believes the gospel, but she wants to feel God before she becomes a Christian. no doubt there are other things in the way, but i feel like this is pretty valid. moses saw signs from God to know it was him, Gideon asked God for different signs, even his disciples had to see Jesus after the resurrection to believe it was him.

so...what do i tell her? that she may not ever physically feel God in the way that she wants? thoughts?

oh czech.

there's something about czech that always captures my heart. being there has only renewed my focus of being there. the next step of the journey is praying about moving there.

these beautiful people were just at camp with me for a week. they're the new crew who i've fallen in love with. there's so much to say about the camp, but i learned two great things.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

i experienced great weakness before czech, and i prayed for it for the team while we were there. during training one of the things that was talked about was praying without ceasing. in thinking about how to get to that point, i realized that with weakness there's more prayer, and therefore Christ is stronger. my weakness appeared in ways i wasn't expecting - different distractions and struggles. but God granted me them so i could rely more fully on him.

there were also some things that happened, or almost happened, that upset me a bit. while i was praying about it i clearly heard God telling me that his plan is greater than mine, and i couldn't see nearly as far as He does. and so i let this struggle go. it's his, and i trust him.

i made some great friendships. i was encouraged by the czech christians who were persecuted by their families for their faith. i watched it unfold at one time and saw the discouragement my friend felt. but what amazing people they are. i'm so thankful for them and their solid faith.

going to czech always provides different challenges. almost every time i go i feel attacked in some way, and this time proves no different from the others.

it's been a wearying and burdensome nine days. my attack this time is that tired and overwhelmed feeling. how do you process through something hurtful and try to prepare for a serious trip? i feel overwhelmed and tired out already. how can i give and invest in the czech students - let alone the american students?

but since i had made the decision to go to czech i felt like something big was going to happen. whether going was the best choice or not (and right now i can't help but feel like it wasn't!), i know God's going to shake things up a bit.

and a wonderful woman reminded me of 2 Corinthians 12:9 the other evening - "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." so there is something powerful in my weak little soul - Christ.

wounded

i woke up really urgently this morning. i felt like i had been sleeping and then suddenly realized i was driving on a highway. i jerked awake and said oh my gosh!

and now i'm still awake and thinking. i can't write in its entirety what's going on, but yesterday i was hurt more than i think i ever have been. at least my reaction proved that. and my hurt quickly became anger...it still is. i wasn't sure if it was ok to be angry - but it's justified. and i'm praying that anger doesn't become resentment and bitterness.

but look, here comes the sun. and listen to those birds!

exodus 30something

i've been reading through exodus, and it's been taking a really long time. the first twenty or so chapters tells a story, and then for about ten chapters there are laws and instructions on building the tabernacle. now that we're back to the story, the reading is much easier and quick.

i'm encouraged because of several things: namely, you can see how much moses matured. at a young age he killed an egyptian and then ran away. he returned, and God wanted moses to lead his people. moses responded with excuses, but eventually he did as God asked. a couple years later he's leading the israelites to the promised land and receives laws from God. when he returns to the people they're worshiping a calf. God almost killed them all, but moses spoke up for them. he interceded.

that's something else that encourages me: God listens. Moses could have not spoken up for them, but He did. and because of that God spared the people. so cool to have a God who hears our cries and listens to what we ask.

moses continuously intercedes for the "stiff-necked" israelites. and it's so awesome because as he begins to ask God to spare them, you begin to see an intimacy between him and God. it even states that moses saw his face and spoke to him as two friends speak.

amazing. as moses grew, matured, and listened to God more, God drew closer to him to the point of sitting down with him.

additional deep thought:

in reading through exodus recently, i've been thinking more about God's character that's exuded in these chapters.

he gave extremely specific instructions on building the tabernacle. aaron had to wear bells when he approached the holiest of holies so that God would be aware of him approaching. priests would have to wear ropes around their waists in case they died in the presence of God. what makes us think that if that was how He was to be approached then that we shouldn't be more serious about approaching him now? i throw up a prayer when i remember to. maybe i should be spending time on my knees in his holy presence.

when Jesus died, the veil was torn. we no longer need a priest to intercede for us, we can go straight to God. the Holy Spirit is now in us, not on us. but God is the same now as He was then. if we look at how Jesus prayed, He would generally seclude himself. He made time to spend with God. He spent forty days praying and fasting! i can't spend forty minutes.

think about death. what do we as humans think is worthy of death? the only crime that is ever punished with death is that of murder.

but God had people killed because they turned from him; they broke their covenant with him and instead worshiped a calf. that's pretty intense. turning from God deserves death.

father's day weekend

lots of eating, lots of fun.

friday eve:

-$5 haircut with tessa (still not sure if i like it, but haven't had much opportunity to wear it down)

-$3 dinner (french baguette and butter, half an apple)

-collecting seed packets at gain warehouse to be sent to zambia (totally purposeful and pretty fun hanging out with new friends while running around a table in competition to see who could collect the most the fastest while attempting to move stealthily around slower volunteers)

-maggie's house-sitting house (sitting amongst people i don't know while completely zoning out: not quite as priceless)

saturday eve:

-$50 dinner at caraba's with the fam (really good food, though i stuffed myself on bread and consequently took home a bunch of leftovers. also recounted the parents excitement/lack thereof in becoming parents 30 years ago)

sunday eve:

-nap (amazing. and very much needed)

-sushi at mojo for maggie's birthday (the sushi was amazing as usual, and the company was tons of fun. we had a private room and made more noise than the rest of the restaurant altogether. unfortunately i managed to spill teriyaki sauce all over maggie's brother's phone while attempting to be funny)

-megamind with maggie (a really funny movie which would've been funnier had i not been half asleep)

and thus the weekend is behind me.

tomorrow entails wearing sunscreen, consigning clothing, and painting the deck. i love manual labor.

i remember when i interned in czech we spent a day working at a family's farm. we did hard work in the hot sun, but it was so refreshing to be actually physical (and outdoors) again after a lot of traveling, visiting, and meeting new people.

i've been all sorts of nostalgic lately about czech, perhaps because i'm returning. i was consciously attempting to remember bunches of memories from interning by reading my old journals and blog entries and checking out facebook pictures. what great community that provided.

so sentimental.

conversations with God

i love working with michael; i don't like having two jobs, and i'm getting a little too old to continue living at home. so i've been looking for other jobs all over the place unsuccessfully.

a couple weeks ago a great friend called and told me she was moving to thailand! i was completely ecstatic for her, though at the same time i started thinking that that's what i want to do. i hadn't really been looking into overseas teaching because they mostly require that you raise support. but some of these positions not only paid you enough to live locally, they assisted with your debt repayment! perfect! so of course i started making a profile immediately, getting a little caught up in the moment.

but i started praying. too often i make decisions and feel that because it worked out that it was God's will. for this choice i wanted to make sure it was what God wanted me to do. and i just wasn't feeling that peace. i really wanted to press the button to apply for those jobs, but stopped just in time.

moving overseas is such a great desire of mine. why would God not want me to move when i'd be doing his work?

so i talked to God about it, asking him the same question. but the question that i was then asked was what i would be willing to sacrifice in order to remain faithful to God. would i give up getting married? would i surrender moving overseas and stay in america if that's what God asked of me?

i would. though it kind of sucks. and i'm not sure that God will ask these things of me, but i will remain faithful if He does.

still the question of the future remains. all God asks of me is to trust him. pray that i will!

oh the drama

so several thoughts this time.

in the last couple days i've been getting really concerned about my future and disheartened with my present. i had a bit of a meltdown, though after reading some of exodus i was comforted by how God continued to provide for the Israelites though they kept complaining.

and then i had my great friends comfort me, and one told me that i was being too martha about the situation. i wasn't choosing to sit at Jesus' feet as mary did and take comfort in his presence and his peace.

then tonight i read this:

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. (Ex. 14:14)

wow...my problem is not my problem. God will fight this battle for me.

and then there's my dramatic response to the whole situation. i always get annoyed with how Moses and David are a bit dramatic when things aren't going their way, but i do the same. i get all emotional and cry out to God, thinking that i have to work things out by myself.

finally, the biggest opposition to the gospel isn't the atheist, it's the apathetic. this i've always known - it's the person who says that he believes in God but is content with his life and therefore doesn't want to change it to follow how God commands us to live life. and that really sucks.

and this is again how the Israelites were! when the pharoah chases them to the Red Sea after they depart (and many other times in the desert), they say it would've been better to stay in Egypt where at least they got food (though they were slaves) than to serve and sacrifice to their Lord in the wilderness. they didn't care about his glory, they were more concerned with their lives. they somehow chose to ignore his miraculous signs again and again and wanted to live their lives in ease and comfort rather than choose to follow their Creator.

"sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

God shows in Exodus how it was hard to follow him - it meant going without water and food for days. yet God promised them great things.

ugh apathy. it is my enemy.

isaiah 65:17-20

¹⁷"For behold, I create new heavens
and a new earth,
and the former things shall not be remembered
or come into mind.
¹⁸But be glad and rejoice forever
in that which I create;
for behold, I create Jerusalem to be a joy,
and her people to be a gladness.
¹⁹I will rejoice in Jerusalem
and be glad in my people;
no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping
and the cry of distress.
²⁰No more shall there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not fill out his days,
for the young man shall die a hundred years old,
and the sinner a hundred years old shall be accursed.

it's incredibly sad, shocking really, for an infant to die after 6 weeks with his parents, or for a 23 year-old to die after battling cancer for a year. but God promises newness - the hope of new heavens and new earth; the promise that we will be new creations in him.

God is the end.

my friend maggie has repeated something in conversation with me a couple times recently. a verbal processor, she can word things much better than i can. this is what she said:

God is not the means to a good end, He is the end.

my church, as much as i love it, i don't believe has done a good job of honing in on this truth. too often Christians believe that being a believer means that God will bless you with a good life - a steady job and income, a cute family, and a white picket fence. but i'm not sure that God intends this of us. Christ intends that we be his fully devoted followers, and that definitely entails sacrifice. every single one of Christ's true followers in the New Testament had to sacrifice something in order to follow him and obey him. most of his disciples traveled around proclaiming the gospel; many of them were imprisoned. all of them GAVE to the needy. i don't think any of them really had the white picket fence of their time.

believing the gospel and following Christ - in its entirety requires a sacrifice.

what i'm not saying is that every Christian should move to a different country and become a missionary, but i am saying that you should be missional at home, you should support other Christians, and you should give what you can do those who don't have what you do.

i also am not saying that you have to enter into ministry to fully serve God. whatever your career is, you serve God through diligence.

but at the end of your life when you enter Jesus' arms, he won't say, "way to be career-minded and have an awesome car!" all that matters is what concerns him.

Jesus is not the means to a good end, He is the end.

though hypocrite that i am, i realize and even understand this and have a hard time doing it. prayers for me please!