all for a doughnut

i've had a tired two weeks. today was no different. i came home and was determined to do nothing with the rest of my day. but then i wanted to make hot chocolate (with milk) and there wasn't enough milk. so i called and texted dad to see if he could pick some up, but he didn't respond and came home a little while later without having checked his phone.

so whatever, i can survive. but then i remembered that today is fasnacht day, and i decided i wanted a doughnut. so i so selflessy offered to run to the store to get milk and doughnuts. it was a planned extrememly quick trip with the hope of running into no one i know. and it was quick, even with having to decide which kind of organic cereal i wanted most.

i headed to the self-checkout line as is the custom for me. you should see me on that thing, i am a machine. i swipe my item and send it down the belt. swipe and send. swipe and send. pay and done.

of course there was a line. so i took to people-watching. the lady at the other self-checkout was talking to a friend and then actually asked her to leave so that she could concentrate on what she was doing. she started talking to herself, "where's the barcode?" she picked up her box of cheerios and looked on every single side of it until she found it. she swiped it and sent it down the belt, only it wasn't accepted. it took her a bit to realize it hadn't been as she tried to swipe her gallon of water only to have the machine beep at her. once she figured it out she picked up the cheerios, swiped them, and read the screen out loud. "send it down the belt. it has to be in its own timing." she only had a couple things in her cart but i was thankful i wasn't behind her because of how long she was taking.

i admit it was hysterical to watch someone have so much trouble and to be talking out loud to the machine. but at the same time i was impatient to get my doughnuts and go to town on them like the fat girl that lives inside of me. really i wasn't on a time restraint at all, i was just annoyed. and she wasn't even in front of me!

that's when i remembered that i should be considering others as better than myself. God loves that lady even though she can't work the self-checkout (big deal, right). and yet my tapping foot was in no way loving or Christ-like.

i pray that God's love will consume me to the point where i don't have to realize my selfishness all the time and will be able to love others more than i love myself.