we love because...

why is loving people so hard for me? it is so much easier to look at a person for their faults and mistakes than to view them as being loved and created by God.

i was at a concert this weekend, and at one point i felt God telling me that i don't have to understand his love, but i do have to accept it.

where did that come from?

so i've been thinking about it. definitely my biggest struggle with myself throughout my whole life is feeling like a crappy christian because i'm such a jerk to others sometimes. so many of my prayers and journal entries have been to love others better. and then i realized that i struggle with seeing God as loving. definitely i view him as powerful and mighty and GOOD, and i'm in awe/thankful of how He's mindful of me when he created the whole universe (Jer 31:35, Ps 8:3-4). but i haven't labeled those things as LOVING.

WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US (1 John 4:19)

i don't grasp his love for me. please pray with me that i would accept and see it.

(and sidenote: i struggle a lot with seeing living here on earth as worthless. at this concert they sang "because He lives." one line says "and life is worth the living just because He lives." He lives, He is with me now. life right now is part of my eternal life, and so it is not worthless.)