"...and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the Lord of hosts, him you shall regard as holy. Let him be your fear, and let him be your dread. And he will become a sanctuary and a stone of offense..." Is. 8:12-14

i glorify myself. i focus on how much others like me, how much time i give to others (i give my time for my own selfish gain), how great i am at certain things.

and so when i fall short of my own self-proclaimed greatness or compare myself degradingly to others, it hurts that much more.

so as i was meditating on it this morning and asking God for his truth, he opened my eyes to my bitter, estranged heart.

why am i here? in czech, and in general in the world? for sure it's not for my own glory. 

Oh Lord, I've missed the mark greatly. When I remove my eyes from you and focus on my own importance, i fall into misery. i get easily annoyed with others and annoyed with myself. 

may my ways be steadfast (Ps. 119)

and lead me in the way everlasting (Ps. 139)