comparison bug bites

last weekend i went on an english camp team retreat. i had had no expectations for it...i had not a single idea what we'd be doing.

so i entered the cold parsonage where we stayed without knowing that a great weekend filled with prayer (and organization and games:)) was ahead.

learning about our gifts and the body

there was a great prayer room (with a nice toasty heater!) set up, where we could paint, write on the wall, and listen to worship music. someone was in that room praying the whole weekend, even at 3 in the morning. it was beautiful.

and Taby, our youth pastor, spoke to us a couple times. he reminded us of the spiritual gifts that God blessed his believers with so that we can work as one functional body.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Romans 12

reminding us of our differences
in how we glorify God

one of the greater struggles that i think women have is that of comparison. the comparison bug can attack when we're browsing facebook or pinterest, go to another person's house which is more "clean" and "nice," or just thinking about the people around us. in college it was common for me to compare myself as a Christian to those who seemed more spiritual than me, and it really hurt my self-esteem and relationship with Christ.

and the comparison bug still bites me sometimes. but as Taby was reminding us of these spiritual gifts, i remembered that these gifts are what GOD HAS GIVEN US. when i compare my gifts and come up short next to someone else, i'm totally neglecting what God's given me. it's like i'm telling him that what He's granted me with isn't good enough or not what i want.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace. 1 Peter 4:10

i need to SLAP that bug! it's ugly! it has no place on me, because I am God's - a result of God's grace. when i compare myself to others, i weaken the body of Christ, and it becomes more dysfunctional. God gave us these gifts to glorify him and his character. when i compare myself, it doesn't glorify God's grace towards me. an eye can't compare itself to the knee and try to be more like it, because that's not its place.

God has created us perfectly, and he sacrificed his Son so that we could be perfect. he blessed us with gifts to glorify him. let's not remove that perfection and glory through comparison.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good...All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills. 1 Corinthians 12: 4-7, 11

i can drive...really i can!

sometimes my blog is all seriousness. it's about time for a funny story (of which, by the way, i have many).

tessa and i have been learning to drive stick. i've been driving for about 10 years now (but oh, i remember the agonizing days of being 16 and i was, "like, one of the laaaast ones in our class to get my license!"). but i'd just never caught on to driving stick.

but when jimmie and hulda offered us the opportunity to use their stick car for six months while they would be away in america, we couldn't resist. jimmie kindly took us driving a few times, and after ruining the clutch, stalling out about a hundred times, and a quick trip to see the mechanic (oops!), we're driving by ourselves.

ten years of driving and i felt like my 16 year-old self just learning to drive again. i was nervous and clumsy. whenever i approached a red light or roundabout, my stomach would turn a bit.

but, we've been driving well. sure, i occasionally stall out still because i put the car in third gear instead of first, but that's a problem that's easily fixed!

in fact, i've grown so confident that two weeks ago i offered to drive one of my students home. we found out that we're both in Hradec Kralove on wednesdays nights because we missed the same train a few months ago (i missed it because i was too busy buying food at the train station; he missed it because his bus was late). now that i have the car, i drive to and from hradec, and i offered to drive him home too. so after i finished teaching, i went to pick him up. no problems...after he got in the car i put the car in reverse to back out of my spot. i backed up like a pro. and then i put it into first gear, and....i stalled out. i turned off the engine and tried again, and....i stalled out. i put on my 4-ways and in the meantime, i bumped the windsheild wipers. and so the windshield wipers were swinging away crazily as i continued to start and stall out the car. upon what was probably my fourth attempt, my dear student said calmly, "do you want me to drive?" i just nodded my head in shame.

but i can drive...really i can!

scripture that ought not be kept to myself

Sttrengthen the weak hands and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you."
Isaiah 35:3,4

And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
Isaiah 35:10

Get you up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good news; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good news; lift it up, fear not; say to the cities of Judah, "Behold your God!"
Isaiah 40:9

Soli Deo Gloria

i've thought about adoption a couple times: that at some point in the future i'd like to adopt a child or two. but it's become reality in my famliy as over the past year or more, my brother and sister-in-law have fully completed the adoption process. from first applying, to attending conferences, to inspections and interviews, on saturday they brought home their baby girl from the hospital.

last night i met my new niece on skype. i wept as i met her. my weeping wasn't because i wasn't there with her (though that played a role!), but because i've witnessed my family through the years praying for a baby, not receiving one, going through this process, and finally coming home with a child.

and so i've also seen the nitty gritty part of adoption. it's not as romantic as i'd like to assume; it's difficult, and full of sorrow, but full of joy. in this process, remember that a mother loses her child. it's agonizing and heartbreaking. and yet, full of love...this child was first loved by her mother, who decided that her child deserved life, and a better life than she could offer.

these are why the tears rolled down my cheeks last night. because through that sorrow of a mother feeling the sting of loss, my family is able to rejoice in new birth and to love that girl with all that we can.

her name is Gloria.

the intention behind her name wasn't solely in the phrase "Soli Deo Gloria," but her name reminds us of it. (check out this song!) Soli Deo Gloria means "for the glory of God alone!" and really that's what this whole process is...for God's glory to be shown. thankful beyond words and tears for how God has worked.

my own pictures?!

it's been a while since i actually took my own pictures and didn't steal tessa's own. but my camera battery lasted me for more than five minutes last week, and i managed a couple shots of my time in prague.

before school started up, i wanted some time away for a bit of a personal retreat. so i took off to prague for a few days.

tessa and i spent a night at a friend's house. this friend, however, just so happens to be 84. quite fitting for two 20-somethings who act as though they are 84 year olds.

the national theater is the big buiilding in the middle; Jarmila lives just to the right.

my 84 year-old friend (her name is Jarmila - Yar-mill-uh) and i have a mutual friend, an american who's also 80-something (i just realized how many 80 year-old friends i have!). she got Jarmila and i connected, and a few weeks ago i went to meet Jarmila. she lives in a beautiful apartment in ritzy prague, right beside the national theater.

the view from Jarmila's living room.

the trip was exciting for us two hillbillies, especially because we had just watched "Anne of Green Gables," and i had just read the book. consequently, our imaginations were running high, and it was euphoric to be able to stay in such a beautiful location. tessa and i snuck out to the balconies during the night to get some pictures.

Jarmila's living room

and as if the location of the apartment wasn't good enough, the whole thing is decorated with antique Victorian furniture. that just pushed our little girl excitement over the edge.

the first day in prague i spent visiting friends, and i came across this site. here's a before and after picture:

pre-Christmas tree

post-Christmas tree

statues we saw on our walk

my friend Barca lives in pardubice but studies is Prague, so we celebrated her finishing an exam with a stroll around prague and a coffee.

Karel Schwarzenburg

i also went to an outdoor concert/rally for a presidential candidate. his name is Karel Schwarzenburg. i have no idea what was being said most of the time, but i was excited to be part of Czech history - it's the first time the people have voted directly for their president! however, in true czech fashion, the people were more excited about the concerts and beer and hot wine for sale in the nearby markets.

the Vltava

the least crowded i've ever seen the Charles Bridge

and then on my second day, i was able to enjoy reading, praying, and thanks to tessa's Christmas gift for me - drawing! i also went for a run around Jarmila's block. i don't usually running, but when it includes running along the Vltava river with the castle and national theater in view AND running over the Charles bridge, i'd say it's a pretty good run. i even called it...ahem...romantic. may i never call running romantic again.


after overstaying my welcome with Jarmila, i moved onto another friend's house in Prague. here's the view from her window, and coincidentally where the concert had been a few days earlier:

blue skies and a light snow. i also got some time to myself at her place to read and draw and pray, and got to enjoy the company of friends. and after overstaying my welcome with this friend, i grudgingly dragged my feet back to parubice where i've again been enjoying real life :)

I have so much fear!

I wrote that in my journal entry tonight. It's amazing how much fear I have. Sometimes I can ignore it and not wrestle with my fear, but other times it's like having a knife buried in my side...no ignoring that.

Thankfully God is way greater than that...here's what he says:

I sought the Lord and he answered me;
he delivered me from my fears
Ps. 34:4

There is no fear in love. But prefect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:18-19

But the angel said to them, "do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people."
Luke 2:10

Poorly written post about Czech Christmas traditions :)

I've been terrible at even thinking of what to blog about recently! Here goes something...

In Czech they celebrate Christmas on the 24th, so tomorrow evening Tessa and I will be celebrating with our czech family!

Traditionally, Czech people buy carp, keep it in the bathtub for a few days, and kill it on their Christmas day. Why? I don't know. They don't know. It's just tradition.

As I've walked around the city the past couple days, I've seen giant tubs of these fish, and hoards of people lined up to buy them. Walking into a supermarket the other day, Tessa and I laughed as we noticed the fish swimming around in front of the building, and we stared for a couple seconds at the funny scene.

We however will not be eating carp. I don't think the kotasovi really want fish swimming around in their bathtub, so instead we'll be eating schnitzel. And that's good stuff.

So merry Christmas. Christ our savior was born - hallelujah!